...5... philosophising part five... ( 5 out of 18 )...

dear  son  taue…
dear  son  peter…

we  were  in  recife  at  age  10…
watching  soap-opera  with  my  cousin  mariana…
( who  was  18  at  that  time…)
and  my  grandmother’s  sister…   tia  lurdes…
and  my  grandmother…  mother  of   my  father…
who  was  pretty  well  healthwise…
( she  passed  away  two  or  three  years  later…)

they  were  my  only  companions  there…
because…  as  I  mentioned  before…
I  had  travelled  from  rio  to  recife  earlier  than  my  parents  and  brothers  did…
so  I  could  do  the  admission-exam  to  the  middle-school…
which  happened  on  a  time  earlier  than  the  one  scheduled  by  my  parents…
to  move  from  rio  to  recife…

to  me…  those  times…  were  interesting…
in  the  sense  of  finding  myself…  for  the  first  time  in  my  life…
distant  from  my  brother…  sisters…  and  parents…

I  found  myself  in  the  companion  of  two  nice  old-ladies…
( my  grandmother…  and  her  sister…  tia  lurdes…)
in  a  house  with  a  super-good  mood…   very  calm…
with  that  kind  of  good-mood  typical  of  the  northeast-part-of-the-country…
( different  from  rio-de-janeiro...)
a  house...  where  everything  functioned  without  stress…

there  wasn’t  those  eternal  fighting  between  my  father  and  my  mother…  anymore…
there  wasn’t  that  monotony  typical  of  rio-de-janeiro…
…  immersed  in  those  environments  full  of  concrete…  of  appartments…
…  together  with  a  total  absence  of  dirt-ground…   and  trees…

in  contrast…  there…  in  my  grandmother’s  house…
I  felt  like  I  was  in  paradise…
the  house  was  inside  a  huge  big  yard…  full  of  trees…
I  used  to  spend  all  day  doing  nothing…
climbing  and  then  sitting  for  a  long  time…
on  the  branches  of  certain  trees…
specially  the  rose-apple-tree…    ( the  “jambo”  tree )…

at  this  age…  ( ten-years-old )…
all  that  a  child  used  to  live  in  an  apartment…   wants…
is  to  be  able  to  enjoy  nature…   to  climb  the  trees…
to  walk  barefoot…

and…  the  interesting  part  is…   those  weren’t  trees  outside...  far  in  the  neighborhood...
or...  in  a  public  place  where  everyone  could  pass  by…
the  trees  were  located  inside  my  grandmother’s  yard…
in  her  property…    it  wasn’t  a  public  place…
it  was  like  a  private  paradise  immersed  in  the  world…
but…  at  the  same  time…  with  a  total  privacy…  protected  by  a  (short )  wall…
which  delineated  the  border  between  that  private  “sanctuary”…
and  the  confusion  of  the  world  outside…
where  there  was  an  already  present…  traffic…  pollution…  bad-vibes…  etc…
those  things  which…  today…  we  are  so  used  to  deal  with…

and  the  yard  was  simply…  huge…
something  really  gigantic…
I  used  to  climb  each  tree…
as  if  they  were  living  things…  ( and…  indeed…  they  are…)
I  used  to  climb  it’s  branches…  conquering  each  region  of  its  interior…
the  goal  was  always  to  reach  the  highest  branches…

but…  as  time  passed  by…  I  learned…  that  each  tree  had  its  own  secrets:
it  liked  to  be  climbed…
but  the  process  of  climbing…  had  its  own  limits…
each  tree  had  its  ideal-point  of  climbing…
beyond  that  point…  its  branch  would  get  thinner…  and  thinner…
and  the  fall  would  be…  certainly…  unavoidable…

---   ---   ---

I  used  to  write  to  one  of  my  friends  in  rio-de-janeiro…
telling  him  how  good  it  is  to  climb  the  trees…
he  replied  to  me…  telling...  in  details…
how  the  goal  of  the  flamengo-soccer-team  did  happen…
with  illustrative  sketches  drawn  by  himself…
describing  through  a  dotted  line…
the  trajectory  of  the  ball  towards  the  goal…

as  I  read  his  letter…  I  could  start  realizing…
how  different  our  universes  were…
in  the  sense  of  what  I  really  liked…
and  what  my  friend  liked…

the  world  for  him...  was…  soccer…
for  me…  I  wasn’t  much  caring…
to  see  how  was  the  shape  of  the  trajectory...
which  conducted  the  ball...
to  the  goal  of  the  flamengo-team...

what  really  did  make  me  feel   happy…
was  to  be  able  to  enjoy  the  harmony  I  was  experiencing...
inside  an  enormous  tree…   way  up  there…
feeling  the  wind  to  swing  its  branches…
feeling  a  happiness  which  I  had  never  felt  in  my  life…
the  happiness  of  being  able  to  play  in  an  yard  like  that…
barefoot…
in  the  peaceful  mood  of  my  grandmother’s  house…

---   ---   ---

at  night…  after  a  nice-little-beans-soup  with  spaghetti  strips…
and  with  a  nice-little-taste  of  “coentro”…
 ( an  herb  typical  from  the  northeast-part-of-the-country…)
it  was  time  to  watch  television…
with  my  cousin…  my  grandmother…  and   her  sister  tia  lurdes…

tia  lurdes  had  broken  her  ankle…
it  was  at  the  bus-stop…
the  bus  took  off…  squeezing  her  ankle…
between  the  bus-wheel   and  the  side-walk…
she  used  to  spend  all  day  sitting…
in  front  of  the  television…
with  the  leg  in  a  plaster-cast…

sometimes  she  used  to  cry…
one  day  when  she  was  crying…
my  cousin  mariana  arrived  closed  to  her…
and  hugged  her…
comforting  her…

this  scene  was  kept  in  my  memory…
I  found  it  very  beautiful…
the  scene  of  someone  comforting  the  other  one  in  her  suffering…
I  wasn’t  used  to  see  scenes  of  this  kind…
my  parents  didn’t  have  the  habit  of  hugging  each  other…
and...  my  brother  and  sisters…  neither...
so…  this  scene  was  like  something  new  to  me…

---   ---   ---

I  was  ten  years-old…
my  cousin…   eighteen…
one  day  she  invited  me  to  go  out  with  her…  and  her  boyfriend…  erick…
who  had  the  habit  of  going  out  with  her  in  a  certain  day…
once  in  a  week…  at  night…

he  came  over  to  pick  us  up  at  home…
with  his  cool… neat…  volkswagen-bug…
very  shiny…
he  also…  all  neat… and  bathed…
really  well-shaved…  with  a  certain  parfum…
ready  to  date…

as  we  got  into  his  car…
him…  on  the  driver’s  seat…
my  cousin…  on  the  passenger-seat…
and  me…  on  the  back-seat…

about  thirty-seconds  later…
after  we  were  all  accommodated   on  our  respective  places…
and  the  car  already  moving  on  the  road…
erick  says  to  my  cousin…
…  " it  seems  like  you’re  acting  differently  tonight "…
at  this  point  she  comes  closer  and  gives  him…  a  true-love-kiss…
very  slowly…

and  I…  who  wasn’t  very  used  to  see  such  scenes…
for  me…  it  was  like  a  sort  of   “shock”…  in  the  good-sense  of  the  word…
then…  I  started  thinking  to  myself…
that  she  didn’t  start  kissing  him  from  the  very  beginning…  ( as  usual…)
probably  because  of  my  presence…
but…  as  soon  as  he  gave  her  the  hint…
( “ it  seems  like  you’re  acting  differently  tonight”…)
she  let  her  shyness  go  away…
and  acted  normally…  as  usual…

I  realized  immediately…  how  pleasant  it  must  be…  to  go  on  a  date…

---   ---   ---

a  few  days  later…  my  family…  my  parents…  my  brothers…
arrived  from  rio-de-janeiro…
my  old  family…
in  the  new-paradise:   in  my  grandmother’s  house…

full  of  trees…

but  my  family…  wasn´t  too  much  caring  about  the  trees…
my  father’s  obsession  was  to  be  able  to  transform  my  sister  ana emilia…
into  a  new  world-record-champion  in  the  swimming-sport…

should  we  stop  here…?
we  should  stop  here…

a  big  hug  on  both  of  you…
with  tenderness…
your  father…
                       …luis antonio...